Whole

Today was difficult. D had a dentist appointment, so off to the Glebe we went. As I waited for him, I ended up in a trendy baby store and I wasn't prepared to see all those nursing bras and supplies. I seriously doubt I'll have more children, a fact I knew going in to this, but it still hit me --I'm not normal anymore. I live with cancer and I no longer have my breasts. The other thing that was getting to me is the huge public awareness campain for breast cancer that's happening. I'm reminded everywhere of my state. Just today, I saw the ads on a passing truck, in the coffee shop and at the card store. After the appointment, I sat with D at the pub where we met to have lunch and I fought back tears while he said silly words like "chicken but" to stop me. I told him it wasn't the concept or even the reality of not having breasts that hurts. It's the fact that a part of myself is gone, a part that had a job, once. They took it away after I asked them to.