Sick of it

I haven't posted much lately. I guess it can be explained by the fact that I'm so sick of cancer, no pun intended. I don't wanna dwell on it anymore. I'm so incredibly tired of it and I want to be over it. I just want to move on. Which makes me think:

I'm not sure if I told you this yet, but I found out the nurse that comes to my house every week to tend to my picc line and my general well being had breast cancer 7 years ago. She's fine now and looks healthy. I also found out she grew up on the same street in Gatineau as I did, and she was a teen when I was a young child. I remember her house as being the scary Halloween house. It's a very small world. Anyways, I'm writing about this because I was wondering how she could possibly have put cancer behind her when she has to work around it everyday. She's a home care nurse so she tends to cancer patients' needs all the time --like me. I know that when I'm done with this god forsaken chemo, I want to eradicate all evidence of it and rid my life of all that reminds me of it. Don't misunderstand me, I'm grateful there's a medicine out there that is reducing my recurrence chances by 60%, but I'm not going to pretend it's nice. I'm convinced in 50 years, we'll call chemo barbaric. A miracle pill might exist. This doesn't mean I wish to forget I had cancer --I don't. It's part of who I am now. I don't wanna forget what I'm learning, what my awesome friends are doing to help, or how my family is showing me how they can cope with this. But for the sake of my stomach's stability, I have to forget about chemo.