Not waking up

A few nights ago, I woke up around 3am, and said to D, very naturally "I dreamed that I had cancer" and started to cry. You know how when you wake up from a nightmare, there is an overwhelming relief feeling that takes over the moment you realise it was all in your head? That feeling doesn't come for me now. Waking up every morning these last nights is similar to having lost a loved one. My heart is broken and everytime I wake up, I can't believe I'm awake and that it's all real.